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What Did Baby Boomers Parents Say About Them

Boomer Vs. Millennial Parenting: 5 Ways We're Different (and One Way We're Exactly the Same)

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Have you watched ET (1982) lately? The kids in that movie were able to hibernate an ALIEN in their firm for what seemed like weeks, while their harried, unmarried, working mom—loving, sure, merely largely absent-minded—raced in and out, ordering pizza, oblivious to their shenanigans. With total access to Reese's Pieces and soda, they rode their bikes without helmets into the woods alone at dark. Gertie was six.

Every bit 1 at present-Grandmother told theNew York Times, Boomer parents more often than not subscribed to the notion that, "My job was non to entertain [my kids]. My job was to love them and discipline them."

Tin y'all even imagine?

For a generation of parents already feeling enormous force per unit area to optimize every opportunity for our kids, as of March, 2020, information technology also became our job to educate them. Clearly, the pandemic and its interrelated she-cession , remote learning and childcare crises dramatically dialed upward Millennial parenting stress.

But, in truth, the "intensive parenting" railroad train left the station before Covid. When we retrieve of how we approach raising kids differently than our own parents did, one stat, cited in theTimes, inevitably jumps to mind:

"Over simply a couple of generations, parents take profoundly increased the corporeality of time, attention and money they put into raising children. Mothers who juggle jobs outside the dwelling spend only every bit much time tending their children as stay-at-abode mothers did in the 1970s."

Looking dorsum to our mothers' generation, the world was likewise in turmoil (albeit not in ain one case-in-a-century pandemic sense). But Boomer mothers were pushed forward by second wave feminism: Women entered the workforce en masse, divorce rates skyrocketed, and a generation of latchkey kids fended for—simply also got the take a chance to define—themselves. Only similar those Coke-guzzling free rangers inET.

So how exactly does all this shake out when it comes to the nitty gritty business organization of parenting? Who was right? And who was left drowning in a ocean of Music Together classes and Saturday tutoring bills? Here, five ways the generations diverge when it comes to raising modest humans, and one thing that proves the more things modify, the more they remain the same.

RELATED: Experts Agree Kids Demand 'Downtime'—but Here's Why It's Become Parents' Biggest Uphill Battle

1. Millennial Parents Are Older

In 1980, the average age of a commencement time female parent was 22.7; Today information technology is 26. 69% of Boomers lived with a spouse and at least one child past the time they reached historic period 38, simply merely 55% of Millennials do. "Previous inquiry has shown that women are waiting longer to give nascence, with many condign first-time mothers in their 40s," according to Pew Research Eye.

2. Millennial Parents Value "Specialization" over Life Skills

The children of Millennials have very different activity rosters than the kids of Boomers did. Kids "used to get themselves around the neighborhood and have summer jobs and chores," writes Julian inThe Atlantic. "Today, only 10 percentage of kids walk or bicycle to school, a steep decline from decades past. Forty years ago, 58 percent of teenagers got summer jobs; today, 35 percentage practice, and the after-school job is an even rarer species… 82 percent [of American adults] said that as children they'd had regular chores—simply merely 28 percent said their own children did." The reason is not that Millennials' kids are lazy or overindulged. It's that they're busy becoming specialists. A contempo CNBC headline under the banner "Raising Successful Kids" reads:Why 'early on specialization' is the cardinal parenting approach for raising exceptional kids.(And who doesn't want one of those?) Whether it's coding or cello or chess, the directive to Millennial parents is this: 'Notice your kid's talent and strop it early.' The article, written past a "Operation Practiced" takes a sledgehammer to the central nerve of parental anxiety: "Specialization isn't just reserved for hereafter sports champions and billionaire entrepreneurs," he writes. "It's increasingly necessary if you want your kids to grow up and become good jobs that they savour… As the saying goes, jacks of all trades are masters of none." (Brb, signing kids up for robotics class.) Plainly, all that effort toward condign a kid "master" leaves less time for free play. One recet survey revealed that 85% of Boomer parents believe playtime is important for children to develop emotional skills. Simply 65% of Millennial parents practise.

3. Millennial Parents are Plugged-In (Literally)

Alexa: Play "Baby Shark!"Sharenting. Cyber bullying.We should really talk to them about sexting and revenge porn.The Snoo. "Co-viewing"Mitt Patrol. Nest cams. GPS kid-trackers. Google Classroom.Is blue light messing with their sleep? Facetiming Grandma. Pinterest-perfect birthday parties. Screen-time limits. Fortnite tantrums. Parental command settings. YouTubers. Parenting influencers. Suggestive TikTok dances. 54% of 11-yr-olds have smartphones. We buy actual beds—with headboards and tiny little sheets—and so we can constrict in our devices at night, in an endeavour to preserve screen-gratuitous family time. I Millennial parent freely admitted to theNew York Times that she named her daughter with a Twitter handle in listen. She'due south not lonely. A poll institute 20% of Millennial parents changed, or considered changing, their infant's proper name based on available domain names. Boomers call back when call-waiting and dial upwardly modems changed kids' lives. Millennials have 6-year-olds who accidentally spend $8,000 real life dollars on Robux.

It's impossible to talk about modern parenting without acknowledging the means tech has revolutionized information technology. "The expert news is that parents know more than near child development than ever before," parenting skilful Rebecca Parlakian told theTimes. The…um…less expert news? "Google is the new grandparent, the new neighbor, the new nanny."

4. Millennial Parents Are Anti-Shame

Without placing all the blame on Boomer parents, kids in the 70s and 80s faced prejudice that would be unacceptable today. "Growing upward in the 80s, writes blogger Eric Jimenez-Lindmeier, "I was surrounded by a civilization… movies, media, education, and social norms, that told me … as long as the gay was treated equally a stereotypical joke, no ane cared. It was okay to make fun and laugh at their expense."

Thanks, perhaps, to their ain childhoods, Millennial parents have a much firmer grasp on problems of social-emotional import. And they're non letting go. Millennial parents are changing the world for their trans kids. Today, LGBTQIA+ characters are increasingly represented in media aimed at kids, according to GLAAD. Nine in 10 millennials corroborate of interracial or cross-cultural union, per to theTimes. Millennial parents accept also helped destigmatize everything from neurodivergence to mental health disorders. (Bravo, Millennial mom Amy Schumer for saying her son Gene, ii, will "near probable be diagnosed" with Autism similar his dad, chef Chris Fischer, but "if he's anything like his father, [then] that is wonderful news.") They are more than willing to support and advocate for their kids. They are pro-therapy and early intervention. They embrace gender-neutral toys and pronouns. They are more open virtually surrogacy, fertility struggles and solo parenthood (Unmarried-parent households increased threefold since 1960, to 26 pct. About 1 in 5 Millennial parents are single Dads). They also desire a more than equal division of domestic labor (though real life outcomes yet fall short of these goals). "Millennial dads are different than their elders, in that they come across information technology as a positive masculine trait to be involved with their children," Anne Halsall, founder of a childcare startup chosen Winnie, told theTimes.

five. Millennial Parents Aim for Less Toxic Divorces

"Witting Uncoupling" may have entered the chat thanks to Gen X icon Gwyneth Paltrow, but Millennial co-parents are making it mainstream. When they carve up, younger couples are more than likely to seek mediation as opposed to engaging in more than acrimonious legal battles (Think Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott as opposed toKramer vs. Kramer). "This is certainly true of the couples I see in my practice, in terms of age demographics," says Maren Cardillo Elbaum, Legal Director of Divorce Mediation Professionals. "The objective of mediation is not to solve the trouble of divorce for ane member of the couple at the expense of the other. It is to leave them with an understanding they both feel they tin can alive with. Many younger couples watched their own parents go to war in divorce. They are discovering there is another way to do this."

What Practise They Have in Common: Both Millennial AND Boomer Parents Are Drowning in Advice

Millennials are branded Snowfall Turn (or Backyard Mower or Bulldozer or Helicopter) Parents. There are Tiger Moms and Panda Parents running effectually out at that place! Headlines remind us of "The Real Reason You'll Never Be Able to Parent Like the French." We'd love to parent like the Dutch! Or take our cues from Mayan cultures. If only we had fourth dimension. And resources. And government-mandated parental leave. Oh, and universal access to high quality, affordable childcare. Instead, American society slaps trendy (if demeaning) labels on parents and sells us books. It'south a tale as old every bit time.

And it's what Millennials and Boomers have in common. In fact, the term "helicopter parenting" had its origins in the 90s. In an article titledHow Baby Boomers Ruined Parenting Forever, researcher Sarah Kendzior writes that it was during the Clinton era that "the cost of college education and its accoutrements—Sabbatum prep classes, expensive extra-curriculars—began their exorbitant ascent."What to Wait When You lot're Expecting, first published in 1984, is all the same a best seller. By the 90s, in that location were five times equally many parenting books as in 1975. And and so, it was during Boomers' prime child-rearing years that their kids' achievements became the central marking of familial success. You know the story by now. Experts who capitalized on parental insecurity became boldface names. RIE (short for Resources for Babe Educarers) is a loftier contour child-development move founded in 1978. Its parenting center all the same offers classes in Hollywood today. Its governing philosophy, per Vanity Off-white: "Parents—or 'educarers'—need to cease treating children like children." No noisy toys. No sippy cups. No infant talk. Devotees included Boomer parents William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman. In her pre-sentencing letter to the approximate after she was bedevilled for her role in the Varsity Blues college admissions scandal, Huffman wrote of her over-reliance on "adept" advice, in words that will pierce the hearts of parents of all ages: "From the moment my children were born I was worried that they got me as a Mother. I and so badly wanted to do right and was and then deathly afraid of doing it wrong."

RELATED: 5 Modern Divorce Trends You lot Demand to Know

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Source: https://www.purewow.com/family/boomer-vs-millennial-parenting

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